Boys ‘Round Here

Oh boy. Here we go.

As any teen girl, I’ve had my fair share of crushes. Some short-lived, some lasting a full school year and one carrying throughout middle school. Speaking from personal experience, a girl with a crush can be delusional and go absolutely insane from the mere thought of being with “her guy”. But why?

From a psychological standpoint, hormones and cognitive dissonance play a huge role in the feeling we get involving crushes, especially as teenagers. Looking away from the cause of these feelings, however, why do we have to act so crazy? Why do we need to impress boys? Why can’t we just be ourselves?

This question truly came to me this year as I fell hard for a guy. Like, REALLY hard. Like, I still haven’t gotten over him completely. I found myself acting different around him and trying to constantly impress him, but I had to take a step back and reevaluate what was gong on; I was neglecting my friends and going absolutely insane because all I ever worried about was being with him.

After spring break, it became clear to me that forcing myself to not like him would be the best option. My friends were far more important than a silly little crush that would probably end up nowhere. I went into a depression after that, with other factors included. Although it was one of the worst times of this year, I am so thankful I got to experience it and grow from that. But, to this day, I still find it difficult to not get lost in the thought of being with him.

Girls, you don’t need a boyfriend. Boys won’t validate your life or benefit your reputation. If you come across someone who truly complements you and is your better half, then by all means, go for it. But don’t go searching for someone you only want for status. Focus on your school, friends, family and yourself. You have the rest of your life to find your soulmate.

It’s Summertime…

…and the livin’ is easy.

With the school year coming to a close, I have a lot to reflect on as far as how this year went. This year certainly had its low (VERY low) points, but it also had amazing moments. Here are some great things that happened this year:

  1. I made a ton of friends.
  2. I maintained a 4.0 GPA.
  3. I became editor-in-chief of my yearbook staff.
  4. I got into the dual enrollment program.
  5. I got my driver’s license.
  6. I became more self-aware.
  7. I started to be more healthy.
  8. I got confirmed and got so much closer to God.
  9. I discovered my worth and that boys aren’t everything.

I will miss this year dearly, as I learned so much about myself and the world. I pray that next year won’t be as stressful as I anticipate and I will be as successful as I was this year. I’m excited for what the future holds, I just hope I don’t get too overwhelmed. I hope to be able to juggle yearbook, a job, AP classes and college classes all at the same time. I better enjoy my free time while I still have it. Adulthood is right around the corner.

Dear Soulmate

Hey, it’s me. What’s up? I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently, sometimes I wonder if you’ve done the same for me.

Will I live up to your expectations? Will we be able to agree on music choices, dinner choices, life choices? Will we be able to make each other happy for the rest of our lives?

When will I meet you? That’s been a pretty big concern for me too. How will we find each other? Do I already know you?

Will we have pets, children, our own home? Will we get married? Will my parents like you…and will your parents like me?

I hope fate knows what it’s doing, because for right now I’m totally lost. How do I know you’re even out there?

Love,
Your (wishful) Soulmate

Robots

Ever since I was in kindergarten, I knew that I would be faced with the dreaded FCAT in third grade. For the following 3 years, I would stress about earning myself a passing score, the only way to get promoted to the next grade level. Tell me, why should a six year old have to worry about standardized testing?

The tests were easy to me, so I didn’t mind them too much. Until middle school hit. FCAT became FSA and comprehensive tests were given every four weeks. Not only was this a nuisance on top of regular testing, but these tests determined the classes you would take the next school year. Also, Florida was the ONLY state implementing so many tests.

In eighth grade, I was taking Physical Science Honors, a high school leveled course. Because of the rigor of the class, and the great idea to test the life out of students, I was given four exams…just at the end of the year. These included FCAT Science, FSA Science, a final exam AND an EOCA. The rest of the year was also full of the mini comprehension checks given by the state. The amount of testing between the days prior to FCAT and now has increased too dramatically.

And I get it, standardized tests help figure out how students are progressing. But tests should not be purpose for going to school. At the beginning of this year, I was so excited to learn about all of the cool subjects I had taken. That all changed when I was given my first standardized test; I found that I performed better in a class that actually intrigued me and required me to think rather than one that required me to simply memorize answers for a test.

The past two days I have been taking my Geometry EOCAs. I realized that until “testing season” had begun, I actually enjoyed learning the material in class. Then activities became EOC worksheet after EOC worksheet and I got sick of it.

My point of this whole rant, I suppose, is that students should not have to endure the chaos of the constant testing done in my state, or any state. Tests checking on students’ understanding of the material is totally reasonable, but state-mandated testing every four weeks (in addition to other state standardized tests) is outrageous. We are humans, not machines. We should not have to worry about passing a test for 13 years of our lives.

Oh, and did I mention they’re testing kindergartners now? Yeah, it’s not pretty.

Jammin’

Music is the one guaranteed thing that can lift my spirits (aside from my cat visiting me from the darkness of the guest room). The joy of finding new music, looking through old music or jamming to music from before you were even born can bring an awful day to one you wish would never end.

Before I discovered the music I now listen to, I was always at war with myself about the kind of music I listened to. One week I would be singing along to whatever pop music was playing on the radio and the next I would head bang to Metallica. As time went on, however, and as it continues to move forward, my music taste takes many turns. Currently, I fit into the alternative/psychedelic/rock category.

I added about 20 new songs to my music library today, each of a different sound. Looking at my “Favorites” playlist, there is quite a variety. I suppose this shows my ever-changing character. Unfortunately, I can be quite indecisive…about 95% of the time.

I guess the point of this is to listen to the music that makes your heart sing. If it’s Britney Spears, then by all means, work it. If it’s the old-fashioned music played at Cracker Barrel, go ahead and square dance the night away. Music can be such a personal experience, listen to the songs that build your personality; have no regrets.

Attempt #12

Every so often, I feel the need to start blogging to share the thoughts of my unhinged mind with the world. Every so often, I try to fulfill that need by actually starting a blog. And every so often, I forget about it and delete it.

As a journalism student, it is imperative that I have strong writing skills. Joining the yearbook staff next year will require me to write several stories that intrigue the reader as they will keep the stories in that book for a lifetime. I find that my writing is only mediocre, and I wish to change that. Perhaps through this blog.

I am unsure as to what this blog will become, but I am having one of those “every so oftens” again. This may blossom into something I use frequently, or it may go into the trash as my 11 other attempts did. Maybe it will be the ticket to my success in the future as a well-known magazine editor, or maybe it will be a simple way to keep track of my life throughout the coming years of high school.

Regardless of what happens, it will surely be a learning experience. Here’s to whatever becomes of this.